I bet he comes in French.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
