bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
