I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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