i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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