There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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