I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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