And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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