And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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