ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
