The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
