I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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