Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
