I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
