Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
