5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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