How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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