I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
