Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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