"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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