Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
