just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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