i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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