3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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