Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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