The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
