All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
