When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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