Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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