She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
