He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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