You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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