Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
