im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
