We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
