I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
