Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
