you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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