I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
