I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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