Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize