um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
