Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
