just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
