it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
this hospital has no fireball
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize