if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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