I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
