I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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