jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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