The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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