i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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