I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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