So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
