I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
