He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
