Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
