I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
