Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
