that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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